Admit it- there are things in your past that you wish didn’t happen. I know I wish I could take back some things; just wipe them clean with a magic eraser and rewrite it. Some of those things were brought on by our own hands, and some were circumstantial.
But we can’t, that’s the thing. We can’t jump into our DeLoreans and wiz back in time like Marty McFly.
We have to live with our mistakes and experiences.
And some people can’t stop living with it. It’s amazing how often I talk to someone who is clearly living in the past. It’s like they are completely unaware that they can turn the page. That it’s 2015, and not 2005. That they have the ability to move forward. Instead, all conversations seem to drift back…far back into the past…when they were hurt, or taken advantage of, or how it’s just been SO HARD since then…
“If only my parents raised me differently…if only we weren’t so poor…if only I wasn’t so stupid…if only, if only…”
And there is a deep sadness when I hear people speak of such things. Sometimes we won’t even be having a deep discussion; it creeps it’s way into all conversations. It’s like they are just waiting for someone to pick up the bait and then they shell out a timeline of pain, reliving it all over again.
Maybe you have a friend like this. Or maybe it’s you.
It’s not like we all don’t reminisce of the past at one point or the other, and talk about “back in the day”. But when we (myself included) focus SO MUCH on these events we have experienced, we are diminishing our quality of life and happiness.
If you are a prisoner of your past, know this: you are also the jailer too. You hold the key to unlock your chains and bust right out of this joint.
Time is all relative. It’s a man made thing really. We use it to make appointments, schedule parties, remember birthdays, and get to work, but really, time only exists RIGHT NOW. The past no longer exists. The future does not exist yet. All we have is the present moment.
Yet most of us spend our “time” thinking about what could be or what could have been. I’m guilty of this too, I’m nowhere near perfect. I’ve had my own share of locking myself up in my head and throwing away the key. I’ve learned the hard way that it is not fun or productive for my life.
You can look at the past as being a yardstick. We know where we have been, and the lengths we have gone- so now we can put our best foot forward, in the NOW, and strive for happiness and awareness of the present. If you are stuck in the past though, measuring your worth or your journey over and over and over again, you’ll always be stuck. Especially if you’re using your neighbors yard stick.
I can’t measure myself compared to celebrities or even my close friends. We have different yard sticks, because we are totally different people with completely different backgrounds. It doesn’t make one better or worse, just different. So please don’t compare your struggles, or even your highlights with other people- it will only leave you feeling less than.
Instead, take a deep breath, and focus on the NOW. Each moment, strive to feel aligned with your life. Whatever your doing, put your all into it, and enjoy the simple act of living.
“Work is love made visible”, so put love into everything you do! If you’re doing the dishes, focus on the positive side of getting the dishes done. If you are going to work, enjoy the drive there or the music you listen to on the way. If you are holding someone you love, embrace the moment and be grateful for it. We all have ups and downs, but if you focus on the down, you will just keep slipping into the hole. You’ll make it harder to get back up.
Release your mind, and let yourself ENJOY life’s gifts!
And when you feel yourself slipping the cuffs back on your wrists, remember: you can either be the prisoner or the key holder.
Which one will you pick?
Was there something I missed? Let me know!
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