Ahh Fathers Day- it’s the holiday that was created by women. Well, I suppose I can only speculate. I find it doubtful that a man would see the actual need of his own holiday, previous to the formation of Mother’s Day.
If a man DID come up with it, the conversation probably went something like this:
Master of all Holidays: Johnson! Any ideas for a new holiday?
Johnson: Nah, I was too busy sitting around drinking beer and barbeq- I mean, I came up with a holiday where you drink beer and barbeque.
MH: Isn’t that Independence Day?
J: No no, this is completely different. There’s no fireworks involved or flags.
MH: Then it’s Memorial Day.
J: No no, not Memorial Day either.
MH: Labor Day?
MH: Well then, what is it?
J: (searching the room for answers) Uuuummmm, Fathers Day! Yes, yes Fathers Day. I mean, we are the unsung heroes! We deserve a day! Yes, I’ve been working overtime on this one.
MH: Johnson you SOB, you’re a genius!
Most likely, Mother’s Day was such a success that the card companies decided to make some extra cash by printing Fathers Days cards. And the grocery store decided to bring in more sales by printing up flyers with Fathers Day specials printed on them. And, somewhere along the way, and alcoholic decided that this was the perfect excuse to drink a case of beer without anyone questioning them.
And so Fathers day was born!
Now, look, I’m not saying fathers don’t deserve a day. They do. I’m just sayin’ that if women didn’t make a big fuss, and companies didn’t try to bank on a special day, the holiday would quietly go by without question. Until two weeks later, when my husband would say “Wasn’t Fathers Day this month?” And I would say yes and he would say,” Well isn’t that some shit.”
And WE WOULD CONTINUE LIVING OUR LIVES.
Not so with Mothers Day. We want cards damnit, and macaroni necklaces. And plants we know we won’t take care of, but they are pretty in the moment. But enough about me…
Father’s Day is a time to remember all the super things our fathers (and husbands) do for our family, that mamas just don’t. Or don’t usually how ’bout.
20 Things Dads Do That Moms Don’t:
- Makes grilled cheese for the whole family at 10 pm. Thanks hun.
- Buys treats for the children against mom’s wishes, but to the enjoyment and praise of the little ones.
- Constructs tents in the living room out of bedsheets and safety pins.
- Plays video games with as much enthusiasm as the 10 year old.
- Utters the phrase “don’t tell your mother.” Often.
- Ignores bed time schedule and instead serves the kids sugar.
- Allows full days of television viewing without question..
- Will watch back-to-back episodes of Sponge Bob Square Pants…and like it.
- Can play trucks. ‘Nuff said.
- Has kids help them “fix” things by having them hold objects for undesirable amounts of time.
- Will allow children to practice hammer skills by busting open walnuts on the driveway.
- They climb stuff. Just cuz.
- Lets children play in the rain or mud (in “nice” clothing no less).
- Walks through the house with a magic filter that prevents them from seeing a mess.
- Thinks playing with a drill in the living room is a perfectly good Sunday afternoon activity for a toddler.
- Will solve any situation with logic, even the ones that involve blood and tears.
- Can do physical labor for long periods of time without complaining and endure injury without crying.
- Will substitute an ice pack with a cold beer.
- Wrestles with the children and gives pony back rides for free.
- Will become a superhero when they sacrifice their share of the ice cream.
I know I’m thankful for the men in my life. If there’s one thing my Dad has taught me, it’s to never give up on your dreams. He continues to help me wrangle my kids every week, and has always been a huge part of my life. And my hubby- he continues to be there for our kids in ways I know I can’t. And I love it, because that means that my kids have two strong parents to help them grow up.
I love you both.
Happy Fathers Day!
Did I miss something on this list?